My Villages: Finding Support as a New Mom

The Importance of Having a Village

Dealing with young kids is tough - even if you just have one of them. Even during pregnancy, it's so helpful to have a network of people going through the same thing! You can complain, commiserate, and talk about your kids without worrying you are annoying your friends. 

Local Villages

I've found Facebook to be an amazing resource for local mom's group. I've joined the Falls Church Parents & Caregiver groups, and also our local Buy Nothing facebook group is absolutely amazing. When I needed a few things after I had the twins, so many people offered to drop things off at my house for me, which was incredibly kind. It's also a great way to unload no longer wanted baby items!

If you have multiples, I strongly recommend trying to find a local multiples group. I ended up joining two - Northern Virginia Parents of Multiples (NVPOM), and the Fairfax County Moms of Multiples (FCMOM) groups. Both have different benefits. The NVPOM group had a series of classes for expecting and new parents! Every month we'd go to a meeting with other pregnant twin parents and hear about what to expect. Topics focused on sleeping, eating, and how to leave the house with twins. The FCMOM has regularly online zoom meetings right now to help parents stay connected.

Online Villages

The first villages I found when pregnant were from Reddit. You can always find a due date group by month. Most stay public at the beginning and then go private once most people have joined to allow more privacy in discussion topics. All of my groups from Reddit eventually migrated to Facebook. These groups absolutely are amazing. The first group I joined - August Bumpers of 2017, has become like family. We all stay connected, and at this point I've met about 20 of them in real life - including planning a Bumper Vacation in upstate NY for a week with some other members. I also have met all the local people in the group, and interact with them regularly. One person from that group is now in my Covid Pod (more on that in another post), and our daughters are best friends.

In my groups I've seen so much love and support. If someone is having a rough day, another member offers a RAOP (A Random Act of Pizza) where they'll get their address and order and send a pizza over to their house for dinner. Any bumpers who may be struggling can reach out to the group, whether it's just asking if anyone can talk, or even if they are struggling to put food on the table. I've shipped a box of food to someone, paid an electric bill, and helped many parents supplement their birthday or Holiday wish lists for their kids if they are going through a tough time financially. 

I find these groups to be a godsend, and I can't give any better advice to an expecting mom than to go find her village!